


She's Wearing Boy's Knickers

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [11]
Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: British Comedy, Chaos, Comedy, Dating, Disasters, F/M, Fanfiction Comedy (MICF), Fluff and Humor, Humor, Mentioned (G)I-DLE Ensemble, Romantic Comedy, Show Business, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:09:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24125671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: Soojin goes on a date with an old school friend and it goes terribly wrong; between broken legs, the unhelpful Ritz Carlton Hitler staff, paramedics on the warpath, impromptu periods, useless tights, and a "brother-in-law" who is nicknamed Jesus Christ - she doesn't know his actual name - it's fun and games for the audience of Minnie, Soyeon, Miyeon, Shuhua and Yuqi
Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678627
Kudos: 6





	She's Wearing Boy's Knickers

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos and comments, please!!!  
> Love you's!

"What happened to you?" Miyeong asked.

  
"Yeah, you look fucking awful." Soyeon chipped in. They both looked a dripping wet Soojin unloading a wet handbag on the kitchen table. Out came a wet pair of tights, knickers, and a bra, plus a pamphlet for something that's ink had run due to the wet. It had been pouring rain outside all day. When Soojin had left a note on the kitchen island to say she was going out, anyone who read the know - incidentally, everyone - had wondered why she was bothering.

  
The round-faced young woman rolled her eyes. "Thanks for your support." She responded.

  
"I'm serious!" Miyeong said.

  
"We're serious." Soyeon confirmed.

  
"I've just missed out on a very nice boy due to a series of utter bloody shit going down." Soojin took a seat at the kitchen table. "You want to know?"

  
"If you want to tell us." Miyeong's reply mixed with Soyeon's, "Well, put it this way, you should do. We're your friends, not your Dad."

  
Soojin sighed. She got to work telling them. 

  
"There was a boy I went to school with. His name is Yoongi -"

  
Both Miyeong and Soyeon reacted; Soyeon reacted with a squawk and a huge grin, and Miyeong smiled gracefully. Soojin told Miyeong that her lipstick looked very nice; the naturalistic colour against Miyeong's white teeth was actually a very nice sight. 

  
"Not the BTS Yoongi, another one. Didn't look a thing like BTS Yoongi." Soojin dismissed. "He was very tall and very thin; the teachers used to check if he eaten throughout the day. Kang Yoongi is his name. I've always kept in touch with him. He was a good friend. We were to go out today, and that's when the trouble started." She groaned. "He has a motorbike, and he didn't want me getting on that - one, it's raining, two, there could be an accident. So we got a cab. And the cab driver ran over Yoongi's foot."

  
Miyeong made a soft sympathetic sound, and Soyeon cackled. "God, you are so savage!" Soojin remarked to Soyeon.

  
"But Yoongi was alright. We go out to a cafe, and suddenly, this song starts playing on the radio. He gets me up and we dance." Soojin blushed and smiled. But her face dropped. "You know how Yoongi was supposed to be alright? The dancing made his knee dislocate."

  
Miyeong held Soojin's hand on the table supportfully as Soyeon just about gave herself a fit.

  
"Will you stop?!" Soojin demanded on Soyeon. By now, Shuhua and Yuqi had come out to see what all the noise was.

  
"Where's Minnie?"

  
"What?" Shuhua blinked.

  
"She's not coming out to stick her nose in, as well, is she?" Soojin nearly growled. Shuhua was startled. Yuqi wasn't too put out. Miyeong mouthed something about "later", and Shuhua and Yuqi left the kitchen.

  
"We get an ambulance, and I go with him of course. The paramedic recognises me; says his daughters like our stuff." Soojin continued. Soyeon made an "awh" sound, grinning. "But the ambulance breaks down coming past the Ritz Carlton."

  
"That's why you've only just got home?" Miyeong wondered aloud. It was nearly half eight at night. And Soojin had gone out at half nine that morning.

  
Soojin nodded. "There was a male and female paramedic. The female one goes into the Ritz Carlton to ask for some help while the male one checks the engine. But they were snobs in there and virtually told her to get lost. Because Yoongi is in a lot of pain at the moment - apparently the dislocated knee was the least of the problems in his leg - the female paramedic did her nut and told them that I was in the car with my partner."

  
"Oh shit." Soyeon's eyes widened.

  
"The irony is, it made them move. For their phones that is." Soojin sighed. "The male paramedic threatened to wrap some of the medical equipment around the hotel staff's neck and up their backsides. Yoongi had a asthma attack brought on by the pain, and then had a allergic reaction to the panadol he was given through an IV drip."

  
"Fuck, has he died?" Soyeon asked. Soojin shook his head.

  
"But he threw up all over me." She gestured to her tights. Soyeon and Miyeong's mouths came open. "Don't worry, they got washed at the hospital. They're still going to go in the bin though."

  
"What about your other undies?" Miyeong quipped. Soojin sighed.

  
"This month's period came early." She gestured to her knickers. "Also washed at the hospital. I was sitting in the waiting room at the x-ray department of the hospital and I sneezed."

  
Miyeong and Soyeon burst out laughing. "Oh, don't worry, honey, everyone woman's had that." Soyeon assured her. Soojin relaxed a little bit, the tension unfurling, as Soyeon came over and kissed her head, before going over to the pantry to get some supplies.

  
"And your bra?" Miyeong questioned.\par  
"Oh, that straps were digging in and it's got this irritating tag on the back that itches me." Soojin gestured. Miyeong smiled.

  
"Why didn't you cut if off?" Miyeong said. "That's an easy fix."

  
"What was the song you two were dancing to when he got hurt?" Soyeon asked, coming back with a block of fruit 'n' nut Cadbury chocolate.

  
"Frail State Of Mind" by The 1975."

  
"Never heard of them." Both Miyeong and Soyeon said. Suddenly, Miyeong's eyes widened.

  
"Oh, what's the vibe? / I wouldn't know I / I'm normally in bed at this time..." Miyeong sang. Soojin laughed.

  
"That's it, unnie." Soojin clarified. Soyeon looked between the two of them.

  
"What else happened that you're not saying?" Soyeon quipped. Soojin frowned.

  
"You're a witch, you know?" Soojin remarked drily. Soyeon raised an eyebrow delicately. Soojin knew she was screwed.

  
"Yoongi's brother -"

  
"Not called Jin, Hoseok, Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung or Jungkook was he?" Miyeon checked. Soojin shook her head.

  
"I don't know what his actual name is, but everyone calls him Jesus Christ." Soojin told them. Soyeon and Miyeon's mouths fell open. Soyeon went to the kitchen entrance and howled for the rest of the girls to get their backsides into the kitchen. Soojin nearly melted into a puddle on the floor. Oh...great.

  
"Right, tell us." Soyeon demanded with the lack of grace and narrative as Hitler once Shuhua, Yuqi and Minnie were in the kitchen.

  
"Jesus Christ has this really, really shit Volkswagen Kombi - an original one, right? - but it's got a massive crack in the windscreen that has been there for two years but he won't get it fixed because he's lazy. He took us back to his house, and that's alright. Jesus Christ got Yoongi settled on the couch, made me a coffee - really, really sweet guy. Or so I thought." Soojin buried her face in her hands. "This was one Jesus Christ who needed to die."

  
"What happened?" Minnie asked. Shuhua blinked at the look on Soojin's face.

  
"Jesus Christ is in a rock band and he wrote a song about me because he and all his mates had the EP playing on record in his kitchen; Jesus Christ isn't in an apartment block. He and his mates chipped in money each to buy this old muitions factory that they renovated - they all trained as plumbers and electricians and joiners and stuff. The property is probably worth £800,000 now." Soojin rolled her eyes. Soyeon swore.

  
"Rich boys, should marry them."

  
"Not after this." Soojin warned. "This song they wrote about me - just for reference, Yoongi is part of the band, not as a instrumentalist or vocal, but he's their accountant and legal advisor. But, the first line of the song is, "I can't think of how my brother met you / But he said you didn't have any knickers on."

  
Everyone laughed. 

  
"Oh my God." Minnie, Miyeon, Yuqi and Shuhua said in Korean, Mandarin and Thai was Soyeon cackled away like a hagged old witch.

  
"I love these guys, we need to invite them around." Soyeon put down, beaming widely. Soojin told them the rest of the song.

  
"I thought her face was a bit fat at first / Half down syndrome queer -"

  
"CUNT!" Soyeon's opinion of them changed instaneously.

  
"Can I take you for a drink? / The girl said she was going to have to check / Because in your twenties there is no such thing as free time / But she turned out cool so everything was blessed / Yeah, it's true / She's the one girl any of us actually sort of love."

  
"Awh." Shuhua giggled. "They said they love you."

  
"Anyway," Soojin ran her hand through her hair. "While I was running around trying to belt Jesus Christ with a spatula -"

  
"What?"

  
"I accidentally put my foot through Jack's bass drum -"

  
"Jack?"

  
"The band's drummer. And...I got stuck. But the position I was in, and the no knickers -" Soojin swallowed thickly. "At the hospital, after they got down -" She pointed at her knickers. "They got me a pad...and hospital paper knickers."

  
"Paper knickers? Actual...paper?" Shuhua echoed. Soojin nodded.

  
"Oh, God, they saw them, didn't they?!" Minnie's hands covered her up as Soyeon nearly collapsed a lung from a sudden fit of hysterical laughing.

  
"But as the boys got me out of the drum...the knickers ripped." Soojin hurriedly broke off four squares of chocolate and shoved it whole in her mouth as the girls squawked and laughed and carried on.

  
"Oh, darlin'." Soyeon wrapped her arms around Soojin and cuddled her to her body.

  
"Do you still have them on?" Yuqi asked. Soojin went very dark in complexion.

  
"Because I can't not wear them with my period...Jesus Christ gave me a pair of his jocks and, thank God, I had a spare pad in my handbag from ages ago." Soojin admitted.

  
"SHE'S IN BOYS KNICKERS!" Shuhua crowed to the rooftops, realizing.

  
"Shut up, you!" Minnie told Shuhua, before looking aghast at Soojin. "Well, are you going to give them back?"

  
"He don't want them back, Minnie!" Soojin said, going for more chocolate. "Oh, too, no matter what happens, if we next fight, no one must - my Dad can never find out about this, please?"

  
All of them nodded. Yuqi asked why.

  
"How'd you react if you're daughter was wearing boy's knickers?" Soojin said.

  
It set everyone off.

**Author's Note:**

> "Bastya Ya" by The Maria's is a very good song if you want something jazzy and light :))


End file.
